She's JV to your varsity
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
