woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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