UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
