I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
