Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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