Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
