marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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