some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
