So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize