Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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