sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
