whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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