im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
