Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
