She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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