I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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