i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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