Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
