you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
