problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
