So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
