Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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