thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
