We won't sleep together?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
