did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Randomize
