The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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