playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
