It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
