sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
