She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
