Can Purell be used as lube?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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