just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize