i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
