the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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