so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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