Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
