hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
