I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
