Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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