i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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