i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
