i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think im going to throw up on grandma
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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