He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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