oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They left me at home... I'm a liability
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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