so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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