I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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