I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
