well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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