just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
