Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
