drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need water and some morals
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
