im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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