The maid of honor just puked.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
