sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
